Wizards and Aliens
by Neo The Robot
Summary: Harry Dresden takes on a simple lost- object case... and winds up in another galaxy, with new friends, new enemies and no magic.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I have fixed a mistake that a reviewer kindly pointed out (thank you). Also, I own neither the Dresden Files, nor Stargate Atlantis.

It's always the easy jobs that cause the most problems. My 2 o'clock appointment walked through the door, and I felt the pressure of next month's bills ease up a bit. Just a bit. She looked to be in her mid- 30s, with a smart suit and a bag that would have cost enough to feed me and my two animal friends for a month. She didn't wear a wedding ring, and she didn't look distressed in anyway. Apart from pausing to raise a delicate eyebrow at the sign on the door, she didn't hesitate to enter. As she turned to face me I noticed the corner of a plastic zip lock bag poking out of her handbag. This was starting to look like a lost object/ person case; quick and easy money.

"You are the wizard?", she asked, casting a dubious glance at the multitude of pamphlets strewn over the table, with titles like _Magic and You,_ or _Why Witches Don't Sink Faster Than Anyone Else- A Wizard's Perspective_. I thought they were a good way to educate the vanilla humans in the city about magic, as well as really tick off the white council. Two birds with one stone.

"Yep, like it says on the door. How can I help you…?"

"Richards. Annabelle Richards. I need you to find something for me."

Damn I'm good.

"What is the lost object in question?"

"Not lost, stolen. A prize- winning orchid from my brother's greenhouse."

A flower. I can't say I never have any interesting cases.

"Have you taken the matter to the police?"

"Of course, because the city's finest have time to look for a missing flower."

Fair point. I tried not to be offended at the comment; _I_ think I'm fine, especially at my job.

"Do you have any idea who might have stolen it?"

"Yes. Another grower who got disqualified at last year's show. Will you talk to him?"

"I may not need to. Have you got a part of the plant, maybe a cutting, with you?"

Out came the plastic bag, with a small dried flower in it.

"The person who recommended your services said you might need a part of the plant. I don't suppose you're going to explain what it's for?"

"A tracking spell. I use a small part of something to find said something."

"Contact me when you have a result."

The she just nodded, left an envelope on my desk and left. No further questions. If I wasn't too focused on paying my bills for the next month, I might have been more suspicious about the whole thing. For a start, who exactly had passed my name on to her, and maybe afterwards, who the hell would bother stealing a plant? Foresight is not one of my gifts.

I got to work right away, drawing a chalk circle on the floor and snapping it shut with a bit of will. Once I had the spell up and running, it was off to my trusty beetle and on the road, my pentacle amulet hanging out the window.

The warehouse my tracking spell led me to was just plain creepy. It was dusk by the time I got there, and there were cobwebs hanging off doorways and bits. I could almost hear the theme song to Kolchak as I snuck into the old building, the two glowsticks I had cracked catching cobwebs and dust motes and casting weird shadows. The warehouse consisted of several rooms, piled high with crates and random bits of machinery, all of which was coated in a thick layer of grime and dust.

Finally, in a back room, there was the object of my hunt. On a table, with a note: _thank you for coming._


	2. Chapter 2

"Yes, thank you Dresden."

I jumped and spun around gracelessly.

It was a kid. About 20, he clearly could not grow facial hair, but he was trying. He'd decked himself out in stereotypical wizarding gear; a black cloak with a pointy hood, a staff, and a gaudy blackened sliver pentacle pendant the size of a jam jar lid.

"No worries kid. My office isn't that hard to find, but I appreciate the effort. How can I help?"

"Fight me."

"Cool. Why?" I oozed sarcasm.

"So that I can kill you." I don't think he got it.

Before I could fire off another witty remark that would sail right over his greasy little head, he said some badly pronounced (worse than mine) Latin, and a freaking badger made of green light starting charging at me. It had teeth. Teeth to snarl with, and probably to bite with.

"Yes!" The kid hissed and punched the air in victory. That was when my mighty powers of observation picked up on the book he was holding.

"Who taught you that one?" I asked, as I climbed backwards onto a table.

"I did." He said proudly. He waved the book at me.

"It has everything in it. Including mind- control. You met my Mom, right?"

Oh, crap. He'd broken a law. This was getting serious

"Look, kid. That book might have some pretty cool stuff in it, but you've got no idea what you're getting into."

"I do. I'm a wizard! And I'm going to prove that I'm more powerful than you!"

I had a feeling either this book he'd found didn't mention death curses, or he'd overlooked that bit.

"You don't want to do that. You heard of a death curse?"

"No. Will it help me kill you?"

"Well. Here's the thing. _Forzare_!"

The kid went flying backwards. I made a run for it. The death badger made a run for me. Well, it shuffled quickly. Very quickly. Unnaturally so. Racing though a doorway, I slammed the door shut, locked it, or tried to. The lock was busted. I swore, and heard the badger getting closer. I hurriedly threw up a veil, which I hoped would buy me some time. I huddled in a corner filled with junk and tried to keep as still as possible. The was a loud _clunk_ as I knocked a small grey tablet off a pile. I swore again. As my hand brushed the grey tablet, something weird happened; it came to life with the flicker of a soft blue light. Odd. I would have to examine it later, once I came up with brilliant plan and got out of here. I picked it up and slipped it in my pocket just as the badger of death crashed through the door. Bad, bad, bad.

"You can't hide forever, wizard."

Then I stopped hearing his voice and stopped seeing the warehouse. I fainted.

When I came to I was lying on my back, on a reasonably soft surface. I felt nauseous. "Hell's bells" I groaned as I pushed myself up on my forearms, ignoring the pounding in my head. I cautiously opened my eyes and looked straight into a pair of concerned green ones. I quickly looked away to avoid Soulgaze and an even bigger headache.

"McKay, you alright?"

"Uhn."

I've always had a gift for expressing myself in one syllable or less.

"Who's that?" I groaned.

My voice sounded weird.

"Do you remember your name?" Green-eyes asked.

"Har… No. Where am I?" I had managed to have a look around at this point and figured it would be safer let this guy think McKay had lost his memory.

A woman entered what I assumed was a hospital, although the whole place looked completely alien except for the beds and monitors.

"How is he?" Her face was stern, but she sounded concerned.

Another man, standing behind me and out of my field of vision, answered in a charming Scottish accent.

"Doctor Weir. He's alright, physically. But whatever that thing was, it seems to have caused amnesia. I'll have to do further tests to determine the extent of the memory loss."

She looked at me, half-risen from the bed, concerned but smiling.

"I expect you'll be impatient to get back to work, but let Beckett do his job."

"Yes Ma'am." I croaked out. She seemed like a ma'am.

She nodded at the doctor and left.

Green-Eyes stayed for a little while longer, before he was called away.

"If you need any extra motivation to get back on your feet, Zelenka has taken over until you do." He grinned, then turned and left. I watched as he waved a hand over a panel on the door frame, and the double doors wooshed open. Good to know.

Three other soldiers stayed behind, hands resting on their guns. The patches on their uniforms were unusual. This whole place was unusual. So was having armed guards watching a person you knew and trusted. Green-Eyes had mentioned that _something_ had done this. I suddenly remembered the strange grey tablet I found in the warehouse. I quick search of my pockets revealed that I didn't have any, dressed as I was in a paper hospital gown, but something about the look of it reminded me of this place. Maybe they were connected. My musings were interrupted by the Scottish doctor, who held a clip board and a pen.

"Alright Rodney. I'm just going to ask ye some questions, to work out how much you remember, alright?"

I nodded. "Shoot."

He raised a quizzical eyebrow.

"Alright. Do you know where you are?"

"A military base of some sort? Airforce?"

"Aye. Did you remember that, or work it out?"

"I figured it out from the uniforms. They're odd though."

"Familiar?"

"Maybe. I'm not sure." Look at me, master of deception.

"Do you know the location of this base?"

"Somewhere foreign?"

"Aye. That's one way of putting it."

"Do you know what you do here?"

Green-Eyes had called me doctor. McKay had been touching something or working on something when he had passed out.

"Uh… Researcher or scientist?"

"Aye. Something along those lines."

"Can I go now?"

He sighed.

"I've no reason to keep you. I'll have someone keep an eye on you. The memory loss aught to be temporary, but we really don't know the nature of the device you activated. Hopefully being back in the lab will help restore your memories, but I'm afraid you'll have to take a back seat on the research until we're certain you're back to normal."

I nodded. Thank goodness for that.

"Ok. Thanks."

The doctor frowned, before nodding to my guards and leaving me to change back into Rodney's clothes and get out of there. The guards were waiting outside the doors. They escorted me to what I assumed was the lab, but halfway there, Doctor Beckett, Doctor Weir, Green-Eyes and five other soldiers marched out of a hallway on the left and blocked the path. Green-Eyes and all of the soldiers had their guns trained on me.

"Who are you and what have you done with McKay?" Green-Eyes demanded.

Doctor Weir gave me a stern, sharp look, one eyebrow raised, and I imagined many a fearsome alien or insubordinate soldier had quailed beneath that glare.

"Alright." I raised my hands in surrender. Bugger. So much for master of deception.

"My name's Harry Dresden. I'm from Chicago. And I would presume that your Doctor McKay is currently walking around my city looking like me."


End file.
